What if you’re not here to ‘find’ your purpose?

And why that myth might be holding you back.

“What if everything that enchants you is your life’s purpose?”

The words hit me like a gut punch that somehow made me breathe easier. Like being called out and set free at the same time, this simple question gave me permission to exhale. To pause. To just, you know, be.

A radical concept, I know.

The question was posed by Liz Gilbert, of course, to myself and roughly 1,500 others seated in Sydney’s historic Town Hall. We were there in the hopes of her big magic rubbing off on us, I think. That and to complete her weekend workshop (which was presented fairly ambiguously – but who needs specificity when you’re Liz Gilbert?).

Within the first five minutes of coming on stage, she sent ripples of relief through the building.

“One word you won’t hear from me all weekend is purpose,” she warned (reassured?) us.

Liz then went on to lament our cultural ~obsession~ with finding our ‘purpose’ – this elusive, often all-consuming thing, apparently unique to us as individuals (out of 8+ billion people), prescribed to us at birth to ensure we leave a legacy, change the world and all that.

“Why is it that we’re so obsessed with changing the world?” She asked. “Why do we need to leave our mark, really?”.

Another gut punching but equally exhale-inducing question.

And of course, simply identifying this singular cosmic reason for our very being is not enough. We must also then prove it’s worth something. Preferably with a pay-check.

There’s a strong cultural (capitalist?) narrative that in order for our endeavours to be valid, they must be monetised. Oh, you think you’re a writer? Not if you haven’t been commissioned. An artist posting on Instagram? Amateur, at best.

Unless, of course, you’re a mother… that’s the one job we insist must be done for free. And if you don’t want to forge a career OR procreate? Well then, good luck to you.

How is it that our alleged purpose - this intrinsic, assigned-exclusively-to-us thing - needs permission from some external party?

It doesn’t, of course. But knowing that on a logical level and believing it on a full-body level are two different things.

One study referenced in Healthline found 91% of people have experienced purpose anxiety at some point in their life. While there are well-documented health benefits to having a sense of purpose in life, having a dogged attachment to finding and living off a singular pre-determined skillset can come at the expense of our relationships, health and general quality of life.

So how do we free ourselves of the pervasive pressure to prove our worth? How do we escape the chokehold of purpose paralysis?

Here’s what I learned.